You don’t have any idea what love really is. You can’t love anyone or anything until you love your own existence, first. Love can grow out of a request for your own life. When you love yourself, your own existence, then you love someone who can enhance your existence, share it with you, make it more pleasurable. When you hate yourself and believe your existence is evil, then you can only hate, you can only experience the shell of love, that longing for something good, but you have nothing to base it in but hatred.